110.

Happy Monday everyone I hope you all had wonderful weekends! I had some friends visit since I'm on bedrest so that was nice but other than that I relaxed as much as possible! There really is no update since Friday's post other than the pain stopped increasing! It's stayed about the same since Friday which is a relief since it was getting worse every day.

Sorry this post will be short but like I said there isn't an update. Today is the last day of January so it's the last day of Thyroid Awareness Month! I hope you were all able to get the word out! I might not have another post until Friday (since we have a baby appointment that morning) Until then have a wonderful week! You are all so amazing!

Please be praying for me and Peanut!
Until next time :)

109.

Hey everyone Happy Friday! I hope you had a great day and you have a wonderful weekend! There isn't much to update, I haven't thrown up since Sunday and my cramps are slowly getting worse. :/ They've changed a little, the pain is different and it has spread but definitely not better.

I've been in bed since Tuesday and that's where I feel the absolute best, yesterday I had some visitors and being on the couch really wore me out, I definitely don't feel any relief being there. Then today I had to go clean out my desk so that was hard for me, and carrying the stuff back up the stairs was pretty difficult as well! My cousin helped as much as she could, she definitely took most the weight for me! THANK YOU!! But other than that, that's it! Please continue to keep us in your prayers, they are so appreciated. Anyway like I said not much of an update, but I didn't want to leave you hanging :) We have a sono a week from today to see our baby :) Can't wait! Did I tell you guys we heard the heartbeat on Tuesday? It was the most amazing experience! Oh and here's the latest sono! This was 7 weeks 5 days.

He's our Peanut Gummybearlionanimal cracker :) Until next time!

108.

Hey everyone! It's Tuesday!  hahahah so we went to the Doctor this morning, and we had a much better experience with the Doctor rather than the Doctor's Assistant! First of all to answer a question, yes I did try Zofran, (sp?)  That was the first one I took that didn't help, and the same one the Dr Asst doubled. I've heard it helps lots of women that are preggers, unfortunately it didn't help me!

Okay so we had a Sonogram, and we got to HEAR Peanut's heartbeat!!! AHH! It was so wonderful to hear that for the first time :) Cory and I both got all teary eyed! And he's doing well! He's growing just as he should be, and there are no blood clots or anything bad like that.

Then we went to see the Doctor, she checked me out and said that there are only two things she can think of, 1. my uterus just isn't dealing well with being preggers, 2. I have diverticulitis (sp?)  She said if I do have the second it will be hard to diagnose and impossible to treat while pregnant. But they did some tests and they'll let me know, as for now I'm on bedrest. I'm thinking it's the first option, even the sono tech said something similar. She asked if I'd ever carried a baby full term, I said no. She asked if this was the farthest I'd ever been I said yes. She said your uterus is probably just freaking out not knowing what to do/what's going on because it's never been to this point yet.

So anyway, that's what's going on for now. As for the cramps, they're much worse today than yesterday. But if Peanut is safe, I'm so so so happy. I'll happily go through this if it means Peanut will grow and be healthy :) And we have another appointment late next week (Thurs or Fri) so they'll check me again and we'll see what the test results are and we'll see Peanut again! Thank you so so much for your prayers and please continue them  You're all so wonderful! Until next time!!

107.

Hey everyone! Happy Monday! I'm really sorry about a week without posting I've just been having a really hard time! So last Saturday I started feeling sick, and Sunday I started throwing up -totally thought I had the flu- This was NOT morning sickness at all! For exactly one week I threw up at least 5 times a day and I just kept feeling worse and worse every time I did. My mom kept telling my greasy stuff made her sick when she was pregnant and I just said yeah yeah okay Mom. Still sick! Then I started reading ingredients lists. OH MY GOODNESS you wouldn't believe how many/what foods have some type of oil or butter in them. And I tried more than a few oils and a couple butters, EVERY time felt sick half way through whatever I was eating. Yesterday morning, exactly one week after it got extreme I had 5 wheat thins -without thinking- and I threw up 5 times yesterday. I had nothing else with oil or butter in it for the rest of the day and yet I threw up everything I ate after. Today: not ONE piece of anything that had oil or butter has entered my mouth, and though I got nauseous for a few hours I never once threw up :)

My Doctor had originally prescribed something to calm the nausea, but it didn't work. Wednesday night we were in the E.R. because I wasn't keeping anything down, and they prescribed something else but it didn't help either! Which was a total bummer. Anyway, so today -my first day without excessive vomiting- I started getting bad cramps. Not the stretching to prepare for baby cramps, cramps I have only experienced after my two miscarriages. At least there's no bleeding. It was so bad not even 20 minutes into being at work I started shaking and couldn't even hold my pen. So I had to leave and went to see my Gyno, unfortunately she wasn't in today so I had to see her Medical Assistant. This person wouldn't even listen to me, she kept interrupting and she prescribed me the same meds I already tried taking. Her solution? Doubling the dose. After a while of her not listening to what I was saying I just stopped talking. I have an ultrasound in the morning to make sure Peanut is okay and then I will see my actual Dr., which I'm very excited about because she's wonderful and I know she'll listen to me. The cramps are the worst when I'm sitting up or standing. Laying down is my best friend. It also helps a lot with the nausea and lightheadedness. So anyway I've been out of work for a week, and still need to take off at least through Wednesday. We'll see what happens. Please keep all of us in your prayers! I'll keep you guys updated :) Until next time.

106.

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY, I'M FREE AGAIN! (well, almost) Okay, okay so I lied! There will be a post today. There was just too much on my mind to not have one! Warning this is long, but I promise promise promise it is worth your time! Well I think so anyway!

First - Mary Shomon and Katie Schwartz joined forces to create I Am the Face of Thyroid Disease and it finally became public! This site is awesome, it's all about showing the diversity of Thyroid patients. I actually have a video up there as well Here's mine I KNOW I KNOW I look like I'm on drugs on that snapshot, but I promise I'm not I actually look normal when you play the video! Check out the site, submit your own video if you want! -actually if you do, let me know! I'll check it out!- but I am so excited about this I think it's amazing! Also if you have time read this press release for the site It's gives a good heads up to the site and let's you know some more about Mary Shomon and Katie Schwartz! Okay I promise that's it for the links!

Next...actually this is last too. It's been happening again! Lately, I've had a few people ask how I stay so happy and positive about life if I have Thyroid problems. And no joke, one person said, "You're Thyroid must have never been that bad since you seem so carefree about life. You obviously don't know what it's like to live with something this awful." HA! Hahahahahahahahaha. Oh bless her. -If you're reading this, please take no offense. But that was definitely my reaction.- 

Honestly, I could make a book about my life with health problems, and the majority would be my life with Thyroid Diseases. Actually...I'm going to do it! One of these days I WILL write a book about my life, don't worry it won't be depressing...you know me too well by now to know that I view things in a completely different way to have it be depressing.

So for those of you that haven't read from the beginning of my blog, or just need a recap; I HAVE had it that bad. It's true, this week my levels are perfect -praise the Lord!- but I have had almost 11 years of anything but. Sure 11 years, that might not seem much but remember I'm 22! That's half of my life.

I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease when I was 11, before that it had been severely interfering with my life. I was collapsing on the soccer field -and my Mom thought it was all dramatics, not that she didn't have reason too...I was a pretty dramatic child- but I had never done things such as collapse during sports, I couldn't stop moving and shaking, I drove my family NUTS because I was always going 100 miles an hour. They used to time me to see how long I could sit still. After I was diagnosed it didn't even take two years to go into remission. We thought that was it, no more worries I'm good to go. Perfect timing too, since I was just about to enter High School.

Freshman year was fine, I rarely even thought about it. Sophomore year however was totally different. I never felt good, there was always something wrong, I just felt SO off. And then I started doing really bad in school. I failed a couple classes (I'd always had As and Bs), and so no big surprise I was grounded all the time! We tried calling the Dr, No no no you're fine you're in remission remember? At the end of the year we went back and surprise surprise my levels were the worst they've ever been. The Dr told me I was going to go into a coma soon and die from how bad they were. (being told you're gonna die at 15, yeah...so are we still sure I've never had it that bad?) We had my Thyroid removed by RAI that summer and was told with Thyroid Hormone replacement I would be fine for the rest of my life. Dr visits once maybe twice a year, maybe adjusting medication every few years...no big deal. Well that right there was a lie, they could never get my levels regulated, my dose changed every 2 months and I gained 40 pounds over the next two years! But I was happy, so happy with my life that I just did not care.

Then I went to college and that's when everything changed. I gained 50 pounds in 1 semester at college. O.M.G. right?! My parent's were not happy with that, and no matter what I said about my eating habits, I'd gained way too much weight for them to believe me. Sure I was eating worse than I had when I lived at home, but when I compared what I ate against what the other girls I lived with ate, I should have gained 5 or so pounds. That Christmas break we had my levels tested again and HELLO HASHIMOTO'S DISEASE! I switched to hypo, and it was REALLY bad. I saw this specialist in Beverly Hills, and right off the bat he said I was lying about having my Thyroid removed. He said "No one's levels can be this bad if they've had their Thyroid removed." He even made me have an ultrasound on my neck to make sure it wasn't there, and when I proved I was right he goes, "Huh." I continued to get worse through his care and he blamed it on me, because he was so awesome there's no way I could have gotten worse under him. "You're eating soy aren't you!" "You don't take your pills do you!" I told him at one point that I would have someone follow me with a video camera to prove I wasn't doing either of those.

During the next year and a half at that University I had lots of struggles. I started doing bad in school once again, I started failing test after test. And only my roommates can verify that I started studying days in advance, I just could not remember anything. I started taking 3-5 hour naps during the day and still having no energy. I would forget that I was talking to my friends and would walk away mid-sentence. And the worse day of all I went into a lecture hall for an exam and couldn't remember my own name. I burst out of there and ran all the way back to my room. Even looking at my drivers license and school I.D. didn't convince me of my name, it just didn't seem to ring a bell. Also, I would work my butt off to lose some weight, then I would go right back to where I had been before (like...within a week I would gain 20-30 pounds back) By the time I left that school -after my Sophomore year was complete- I was 70 pounds heavier than when I had started.

It's been two and a half years since then, and my life is still the same roller coaster. From when I left school to my wedding day -exactly 3 months later- I gained another 30 pounds. Over the next 4 months I gained another 20 pounds. The next 5 months? Another 30 pounds putting me at my highest of 330 pounds. (oh if I didn't already say...when this whole journey started I weighed 140 and I'm 5 feet 8 inches with an athletic build) In that time, my new Endo told me that I had tumors, and after a little over a week of expensive and extensive testing we found out that no I did not have tumors -PTL!- That first day after she told me that was really rough, but I got over it before I even found out that I didn't even have them! And they still could NOT get my medication regulated until just a couple months ago. Since before I even gained most of my weight my dose has been in the 200smcg. Right now it's 275mcg. MOST Thyroid patients I talk to take anywhere from 25mcg-75mcg. Mine's so high they don't even have a pill for it, I have to take 2.  And that's JUST my Thyroid, that doesn't even cover all the other health problems I have.

So ma'am if you're reading this, I'm truly sorry that you see your life through your Thyroid problems, and I'm sorry you think I'm a joke. But I HAVE had it that bad. I just would rather look at the world through rose colored glasses than through a disease.

Through all of this, as my family and friends know...I've ALWAYS been so happy. Sure it helps that I was smiling minutes after coming out of the womb (not joking...I have a picture I'll have to upload it another day), but that's not it; there are three parts to this. The main thing is my relationship with God, He has helped me through all of this. And because of Him I have so much peace and happiness about my diseases. Yea I said it, I'm happy about my disease, and my weight gain. I have come to respect it so much it's ridiculous. But here's how. I would not be the woman I am today, had I not had all of these struggles. Who knows where I would be, all I know is that it wouldn't be good. For a long time only my immediate family knew about my Thyroid problems, only recently has it started coming out; and that's mostly because of this blog. And that's another thing to be thankful for. I've met all of you! I love talking to you guys every couple days! I love getting comments and hearing updates from y'all! So 1. My relationship with God, 2. I'm naturally a happy person, and 3. I decided long ago that I would no longer let my Thyroid control my life.

I think the problem with most people who have Thyroid diseases, is that they let their disease rule them. I promise y'all it is SO amazing taking your life back. It's like a dead weight just falls off as soon as you do. And I'm not saying your symptoms will stop, or your levels will become perfect. Because most likely you'll always have to deal with those things. But if you take your life back, it doesn't become "dealing" with it. It becomes something small in the back of your mind. It makes it so much easier to live with. Promise. When I share my story with people now I get *gasp* "OH honey how do you deal with that? Are you okay now?" Every time I laugh and say, "Honestly, I'm fine. It's just how my life is." And like I've told you guys, I love my life. I don't want people feeling sorry for me, there are so many other people in the world who have it worse than me.

Okay I'm done...Sorry I know that's long but you can't say I didn't warn ya :) You guys are wonderful! Have a great weekend. Until next time!! 

105.

Okay I GUESS I'll let you know how the appointment went instead of making y'all wait until tomorrow :)

It went REALLY well, so well in fact I'm having trouble typing. You should see how my sentences look before I go over them ;) We saw the little one and the heartbeat! We are so so excited! So with the size of the embryo they think I wasn't off just a couple days, but 6 days! I'm only NOW 6 weeks. Which explains a lot on why we couldn't see anything last week! Anyway we're just thrilled and so is our Dr. but like she said, we're not out of the woods yet. I still need to be very careful over the next 6 weeks!

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers, they're so greatly appreciated! Right now Peanut is the size of a grain of rice (crazy to think huh?) But we're still affectionately referring to him/her as Peanut until we know if we're having a boy or girl. Haha. SO my new due date is September 8, but we would love to hold off for two days because that is my Grandma's Birthday and then we could have a baby on 9/10/11 (at 12:13 and 14 seconds!) hahah ;) Next appointment is 3 weeks from tomorrow! I already can't wait!!!

You guys are wonderful! And obviously there won't be a post tomorrow so have a great weekend! Until next time :)

104.

It's the middle of the week and you know what that meanssss GHI with the hubby tonight! Excited for a night with him, he worked until after 9p last night, but tonight he's mine! :D Then tomorrow at 8a we have our baby appointment and I'm so excited! I want to hear/see something! I've never gotten to that point before! Please keep us in your prayers, I'm praying tomorrow we get good news :)

As for that perfect job, I didn't get it :/ Actually...I didn't even get my interview, they hired the first person they interviewed! Cory and I are definitely bummed, as I said before that would have been a life changer! But God has His own plan, and I'm not giving up. I've applied at 11 places since Saturday and I'm hoping one of those is the one! I really need a full time job so hubby and I can move and prepare for baby! (babIES mom haha)  Oh I don't know if I told y'all...my mom is convinced I'm having twins...she's been saying that from the moment I found out I was preggo! Haha

Well that's all the update for now! Hope you're all doing well! Until next time :)

103.

Happy Monday everyone! How are you all today? Did you have nice weekends? Ours was wonderful! We had dinner with the in-laws on Friday, Saturday we ran some errands and looked at some new places to live and Sunday we did groceries and major naps :)

So I'm also on the hunt for a new job, one that is full time and offers benefits. I have found one and will have an interview -hopefully- for it this week, but I know there are a few other people applying for the same position. We could really use your prayers on this one. You guys have no idea how perfect this job is for me and for my family. It could change everything for our future children, and for my husband and I. Obviously this is in God's hands...but I really hope this is in His plan for me because I have the best feeling about it, and like I said it would be beyond perfect! So I'll keep you all updated on that as well as how the baby appointment goes on Thursday! I CAN'T WAIT!

Also, I've started eating more calories to make sure I don't starve myself or the little one and guess what. I'M NOT GAINING WEIGHT! Actually, I've lost .2 pounds since I found out I was preggo! Do you remember last time I was pregnant I gained 9 pounds in just a couple weeks? So I'm very excited about this! Anyway! Thank you all for being so amazing! Until next time :)

102.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE! I didn't realize it was Friday until my boss said have a nice weekend. Haha! Do y'all have anything planned this weekend? We don't. Hopefully we'll just be able to relax!

So we went to our appointment today, and after we'd been sitting there a while the lady at the front desk says, "The tech that does the sonograms isn't going to come in today. Do you want to reschedule?" I almost started crying. Even if I didn't have a history of miscarriages, I would have been bummed. But this is what we rely on...and I wanted it bad! So then my Dr.'s nurse comes up and said she was almost positive with my history that the Dr. would do a sono herself. So we decided not to reschedule, and we kept our hopes high that the Dr would do one. Annnnnnnnnnnnd she did! They did all the "confirm the pregnancy" parts of the visit, and Pregnancy was Confirmed ;) then we went for the sonogram. Right away I could tell something was different from the last time. The pregnancy sac didn't look deformed. It was round, and while that excited me there was no heartbeat to be heard, no fetus to be seen.

My Dr found the yolk sac inside the pregnancy sac and said it was forming perfectly! (as well as the pregnancy sac) She said she was not in the least bit worried that I couldn't hear anything. She said I was probably off a day or two; but with how the sacs looked she was VERY optimistic about this pregnancy. (And she's not one to sugar coat things) Of course she -us too- still wants to hear that heartbeat so I'm going in Thursday morning for another sonogram.

She also told me to not to strain myself and to take it easy. We have to be really careful with this one! So that's my update! Thank you all for the prayers! Please continue to pray for us!!! Until next time :)

101.

It's Wednesday! An all new season of Ghost Hunters International starts tonight! And I'm actually excited because it's now Barry and Kris Williams instead of Rob. No offense Rob...but we weren't the hugest fans..... ;)  Since I'm talking about that...I am indeed a Christian, and no I do not believe in Ghosts. But I do believe in Demons, because they're in the Bible, and I believe they can present themselves in any way, and some of those ways may be "ghostly"! WITH all that said...whatever it is they "find" on the show...these shows are too interesting not to watch!

Also I have my first baby appointment on Friday to hear the heartbeat! I will be 6 weeks on Friday so hopefully all is well, and we will actually be able to hear it! YAY! Thank you for your prayers!

Last: -and I can't believe I forgot about this until last night- IT'S JANUARY which means it's THYROID AWARENESS MONTH! Yay for our own special month. :) Remember: TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK! Don't let your Thyroid control your life, control your Thyroid! You all are so wonderful and so special! I'm glad I have you in my life! until next time :)

100.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! How were your holidays? Mine were fabulous! I had such a nice relaxing time with my family :) It was definitely a much needed vacation. I actually gained a few pounds while I was there -not a big surprise- I weighed 292 before I went, and when I got back I weighed in at 295. So my grand total of weight loss for the year 2010: 35 pounds. I can't find any reason to be upset with that number at all. I'm thrilled that I'm less than I was this time last year. :)

Another little something for you all: I was feeling way off last week. different things kept happening, and I just kept shrugging them off. Then one night I was sitting there and was thinking about everything that had been happening and realized something once they were all put together. so I went to check my calendar and realized I was also 3 days late... I joked about it with my Mom and hubby, but we still went and took a test anyway. Results? I'm pregnant! It's pretty crazy but still exciting! Oh and no worries, it's not dangerous. I needed to have 2 normal cycles after the D&C before I could get pregnant again, and I had exactly 2 normal cycles. My Dr and her nurse said there's nothing to worry about in that aspect, and I have my first appointment this Friday to hear the heartbeat! Now if you remember, this appointment coming up on Friday is the appointment I had when I found out I had miscarried. It's also the furthest I've ever gotten. I'm not dreading this appointment though, I'm incredibly excited! I think no matter what, if I have another miscarriage, it will hurt the same if I'm excited, or not. SO I decided I'm going to be excited!

Please please please keep us in your prayers. They're so appreciated! Until next time :)