9.

Hey everyone sorry I've been kinda m.i.a.! It's been a crazy ridiculous week, super busy, I got pretty sick, and our Internet died on us in our apartment :(  But I'm back! So it definitely threw me off when I got on the scale yesterday and I didn't lose anything! I had done amazing on my diet the day before and I thought to myself, oh no! I'm only in the third week, is it already gonna slow down?! But have no fear that's not the case, my body just hated me for the day no big deal! (and besides it's still better than gaining, right??) Well anyway, my usual morning goes like this: I wake up, get out of bed, try to wake my body up. 45 minutes later I take the puppy and go on a walk (by the way that's the puppy, Skylar, over there she's 6 months) Don't tell me she looks like a German Shepherd! We know she does...but when we bought her we were told she was an Alaskan Malamute, and she definitely looked it then, not so much now. But for the sake of the apartment people...she's still Alaskan Malamute hahaha! So after I'm done walking with her I usually wait anywhere from 30-45 minutes to eat breakfast (it depends on if we stopped to talk to anyone...I eat at 9:15) and that gives me plenty of time to cool down slow my heart rate down and get comfy before putting food in my stomach. Usually by the time I'm making my food I'm super hungry, and if I don't eat in the morning really soon after I wake up I start feeling dizzy and what not until I eat (this has always happened to me, it's not because of the Thyroid Diet) so I'm starting to get that dizzy feeling and I start eating my breakfast. Then it started getting worse, and worse and I had to bolt to the bathroom. IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH DON'T READ THE NEXT SENTENCE PLEASE...THANK YOU :) I had a couple not so lovely sessions throwing up (but what was super weird was that I only threw up clear liquids...no food whatsoever, and I had only had 8oz of water so far that morning and that was almost 1.5 hours before I started throwing up) and for the rest of the day I just felt awful (but no longer sick to my stomach). :( OKAY YOU ALL CAN READ NOW I still ate my regular foods and am super stoked to say that I lost 1.6 pounds yesterday! Woo hoo! I now weigh 305.4 I am so close to being under 300!! That is 16.6 lbs in 17 days. That's pretty awesome if I do say so myself! I decided since my whole goal is to lose 183 lbs I will post a new picture of myself every 30 lbs I lose. So after another 13.4 you guys will get a new pic! I'm totally excited and thank you to everyone who is following me through this! Even on days (that are not my treat days) when I have a craving for something I definitely cannot have, you guys help me stay motivated to hold out until my treat day! And I'm pretty sure it was my hubby's grandma that just recently told me the food you're craving will still be here on earth when you can have it! (Such good advice Nannie!) Until next time!

8.

Happy Monday!!! Hope everyone had a great weekend! I have quite a few things I want to tell you guys! Okay so Friday...I wasn't feeling well at all. Like I've said before I walk 2 miles a day, 1 in the morning and 1 at night. (1 mile is 2x around our apartment complex) I didn't even get .1 miles in and I thought I was going to pass out. I was dizzy, drained and just wanted to go back to sleep. (hypothyroid patients you know what that's like) well I turned the puppy around and after barely making it back up the stairs I fell onto the couch and stayed there til I had to get ready for work. The entire time I was at work I kept telling myself...I'm gonna walk tonight, I might even do 2 miles tonight! By the time I was on my way home though, I felt worse than I had that morning and I was struggling to keep driving! So I didn't go walking at all on Friday, and at first I was really worried about that, but then I realized...I walk 2 miles every single day. It is fine if I miss 1 day. And I still lost weight that day ;-)  I felt great on Saturday though, and went right back to walking. Sat. was also my treat day and oh my goodness I was so excited. I allowed myself to have two french fries off my husbands plate at our date night and then we went and got frozen yogurt afterward! It was amazing...sooo good. And guess what...I lost that day too! :) I went to a baby shower yesterday and of course they had a ton of food there...cupcakes, sandwiches, some kind of chili/cream cheese thing with crackers (which I love by the way) and much more. I was definitely tempted by the chili/cream cheese but I didn't have any (because I know I can't have just one of those). Instead of standing in the kitchen with the women who were surrounding the island continuously eating and talking I went into the living room to talk to the other people. I was so proud of myself haha! Then I went to the movies with some friends and I found out one of those friends in particular is really bad for me and my diet. I told her I was just going to have water and she was like no you can cheat one day (which I repeatedly told her that I had my treat the night before) and she got popcorn for us to share (a small) and of course I got to hold it because she was eating her candy...I gave in...BUT I didn't even have 2 cups worth, and in The Thyroid Diet it says 2 cups of popcorn is 1 serving of starch and I had only had 1 serving of starch that day anyway. We also didn't add any butter to it...so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I still felt super guilty on my way home from the movie, but I got over it this morning when I stood on the scale and saw that I had still lost weight. haha! Other than my treat and the popcorn I did great on my diet this weekend, and I'm not going to have another treat until Saturday! So I have had 14 days of the Thyroid Diet (obviously not counting today) and I have lost 14.2 lbs!!!! WOO! I weigh 307.8 and I seriously can't wait to be under 300! Thanks for the support everyone! Until next time!

7.

Hello everyone! I have some pretty awesome news to share with y'all! :) But first things first, some of you who have the book talk about the diet being too intimidating. So let's talk about that. If you just read through the book then yes the diet can look like there's a lot to it, but like I said before just take a deep breath and start mapping out your way to do the diet. I found out exactly how many servings of whatever I needed to eat each day and then I split them up between three meals and two snacks. Since I am doing the free-form diet of the Thyroid Diet, (there are 3 diets you can do for the thyroid diet...it explains it in the book, and it lets you know which one is right for you!) I need to eat:
 1-2 servings of fruit a day
 2-3 servings of starch a day
at least 6 servings of vegetables a day
at least 64 oz of water a day. I also need to have:
 1 serving of fat each meal and snack
 1-2 servings of protein in every meal.
(you also need to have fiber, so the foods I choose usually have fiber in them)
 Now, you can't just eat whatever of each of these, she gives you a list of what you can and cannot eat for all of these. As I said in one of my earlier posts I eat the minimum of what she suggests, (1 serv. fruit, 2 serv. starch) and after I figured that out I started planning what I could eat for each of these things. I went through her list and picked out things I like to eat, separated them into my meals and snacks and then I made my grocery list (she also tells you how much/big is an actual serving size). Now the food I eat sometimes changes from day to day so I wont go into exactly what foods I eat but here's what my "non-food names" menu looks like (I keep a journal and this is what is on the page)!

Weigh:          Day, Date, Day of diet
Water: 8   8   8   8   8   8   8   8   8   8   8   8 (I cross off an 8 for each 8 oz I drink, usually do 80oz total)
Exercise: (I write what I do and for how long)
Breakfast (time):
1 serving of starch
1 serving of fat
1 serving of protein
am Snack (time):
1 serving of fruit
1 serving of fat
2 servings of veggies
Lunch (time):
1 serving of starch
1 serving of fat
1 serving of protein
2 servings of veggies
pm Snack (time):
1 serving of fat
2 servings of veggies
Dinner (time):
1 serving of fat
1 serving of protein
1-2 servings of veggies (some nights)
How much Lost/Gained (obviously you fill this in the next day)

So if you take the time before you start your diet to figure out how to do it, it really is SUPER easy! And just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't go out! I've gone out 3 times since being on this diet and everything I ate I LOVED! Yesterday I went to lunch at Schlotskys with my Aunt, and had an amazing lunch! First I got a large drink (44oz) and I got their unsweetened tea w/ 2 slices of lemon. (It was a wonderful change from only water) and drank that while I was at work too! I got a small turkey and guacamole sandwich and even though it was on wheat bread, it didn't look like wheat bread so I just set the bread aside! All that was on the sandwich was about 4oz of turkey, lettuce, tomato, and around 1-2 tbsp of guac. It was delicious, satisfying and only 168 calories! And when you go out, don't be afraid to ask them to take off things. Remember when I got my chicken montery sandwich last week? I said no bun, no bacon, and no sauce. I know a couple of you were going to start the diet, or already started it. How are you guys doing with it, I really want to know!

Like I said I have pretty awesome news to share with you! I weigh 310.6 and have lost 11.4 lbs in 11 days! WOOHOO! I cannot wait to be out of the 300s! You all are amazing, and I hope this post helps some of you take that leap into the diet! Just remember to take a deep breath! Until next time :)

6.

Hey everyone! Hope y'all are doing well! I am so excited to announce that when I got on the scale this morning I weighed 312.2, which means I have lost 9.8 lbs! WOO HOO!!! Now there seems to be some confusion on what diet I am doing and where I got the idea. I am doing The Thyroid Diet (free form) from the book The Thyroid Diet: Manage Your Metabolism for Lasting Weight Loss Mary Shomon is the author and it is an amazing book that I strongly recommend! It has great ways to diet, recipes and things that just make you go..."YEA!" I finally felt after reading this book, and starting this blog, that I was not alone in my sufferings with this disease and weight gain.
I have also heard some people say they are too intimidated by the diet to try it and honestly it is SO easy, please don't feel intimidated by it. Just take a deep breath, and start mapping out your way to success. If you plan, it is much easier to stay on the diet. Not planning results in quick trips through the drive thru! You more or less cut out carbs, sugar and fried foods. However, you can allow yourself a dessert or treat once or twice a week and it really helps take away those cravings. ALSO: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!! Let's say you are out to dinner and man oh man those mashed potatoes on your husband's plate look too good to resist....HAVE A BITE! Whoever said you can't have a bite?! Now....if the bites turn into a bite of something you can't have every hour or so, then that is definitely not helping on your diet. Just remember this: Nothing tastes better than the first bite. (My Dad told me that) :)
People have been messaging me on Facebook, and leaving comments on here about how they are struggling with just living their day to day lives with this disease. Trust me, I know how you feel! But you CAN go on with your life and you can live it the way you want to! It's hard but it's do-able. If you're not sure how to take back your life and live it, or even if you already have but feel like you're slipping; buy this book also! Living Well with Hypothyroidism: What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You... That You Need to Know (Revised Edition) This book is also by Mary Shomon and together are like what, $24? And it's the best $24 dollars you will spend. It gives you ways to take your life back, ways to love yourself again, and obviously, ways to live WELL.
These books have changed my life, and I am so excited to have you guys tell me that because of this blog you are going to start the diet too! You all are encouraging me so much and I hope you don't stop reading this blog and please never stop with the encouragement...You never know when I'll need it most. Now I want to know something, who of you are doing/have done this diet? I want to know how it was for you. LET ME KNOW! And please...never ever give up.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13
"Just keep swimming!" - Dori (Finding Nemo)
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31 b
                                   "In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Psalm 56:11

Seriously guys if God is cheering you on, which of our personal demons can be against us? And our biggest thing is we are so afraid of what other people are thinking of us; or for some, what they'll say or do to us. Just don't be afraid. You guys can do this! I can do this! And when you don't want to work out anymore...just keep repeating, "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming swimming swimming!" I love you all and thank you for the encouragement. Now...GO GET THOSE BOOKS! The links will take you directly to them on Amazon if you'd like! And tell me if you're doing the diet and how you're doing. Until next time!

5.

Okay so I was thinking I might have a little post about the phases I'm planning on doing with this diet and also a way to see how I was gaining weight over the years. Now please keep in mind, some of these pictures are probably funny or whatever but I don't take a ton of serious pictures. Also not all of these you can see my whole body, but you can tell in my chest and face how much weight I'm gaining. I will explain each picture later! So first things first: the phases

Phase 1 - I am getting myself from morbidly obese to obese. I need to lose 59 lbs and I will be 263 when I am done with this phase.
Phase 2 - Going from obese to overweight. I need to lose 66 lbs in this phase and will weigh 197 when I'm done.
Phase 3 - To go from overweight to a healthy weight. I need to lose 33 lbs and will weigh 164 when I am through.
Now depending on how I like the way I look I might do a phase 4 just to get down to 150-155 whenever I am happy with how I look. So there you go! If I say I only need to lose a small amount more, then that means it's until I complete that phase, not until I'm totally done.

Now to explain the pictures:

Picture 1: I was 140 pounds, and this was before one of the musicals I was in, hence the make up and dress haha, I'm on the far left.
Picture 2: This was my Junior year of High School after my thyroid had been removed this was one of my proms and I am on the right, I weigh about 160 here.
Picture 3: Near the end of my Senior year, I was at 170...I was just taking pictures of my new make up! haha
Picture 4: The end of my Senior year I was 180 here, this is before one of my voice recitals
Picture 5: This is during my Freshman year of college, I'm the girl in the polka dot dress I weigh 200 lbs here, there was some dinner going on this night
Picture 6: Nearing the end of my Freshman year, I weighed right around 215-220, I guess we were doing a see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil thing?? Roommates Birthday dinner.
Picture 7: This is the beginning of May of my Sophomore year of college, my sister and I went to see Wicked in Hollywood, I weighed 230 lbs. This is the last night I remember thinking I looked good, even though I wouldn't have put on a bathing suit or anything...I still thought I was pretty here.
Picture 8: This is three weeks later the day after I moved to Texas, with my hubbs I weigh 250 lbs.
Picture 9: This is my wedding day a couple months after the previous picture in August 2008 I weigh 280 lbs
Picture 10: This is a few months after the wedding, my family came to visit us in Texas, I am in the very middle, I weigh 300 lbs.
Picture 11: This is another view of one I posted in my first post, this was almost a year ago I weigh 323 lbs here which is right about where I was when I started this new diet.

So I hope these pictures help you see everything a little bit differently also. You can see, even in just my face, how much I have gained. My eyes aren't so big, now they look squinty. My dimples are disappearing :( And I just look flat out huge. I seriously can't wait to get back to somewhere between the first and second picture!

4.

Hello everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was nice and relaxing with my hubbs!

With how well my weight loss was going last week I got a little ahead of myself and was hoping to lose 10 pounds last week. During the weekend it slowed down though, and I was totally surprised because my average calorie intake this weekend was 1000 calories! (But I was still totally satisfied.) Also I started walking even more, I walk 2 miles a day now; 1 in the morning and 1 in the evening. Which is amazing for me because before I started this, I was feeling so horrible that I wouldn't walk at all! And when I first started I was only walking 1 mile a day, (.5 and .5) and I was dying after! I was so out of breath and didn't want to move for a while, and now it's getting so much easier! So anyway back to why I wasn't losing a lot of weight this weekend (ATTENTION ANY MEN READING THIS...YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ THE END OF THIS PARAGRAPH, PLEASE SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH) men...did you skip this part? okay good. So ladies, we all know what it's like when that time of month comes around for us. It's painful, uncomfortable, you bloat bleh. Right? Okay so when I weighed in on Saturday I had gained .2 lbs and I was like WHATTT? NO!!!!!! I went back to my journal for the day before and I had done awesome on my diet, ate everything I was supposed to, (and I eat the minimum of what Mary Shomon suggests) only had just barely over 1000 calories and I walked 1.5 miles. I was so confused and bummed! That day was when I bumped up my walking to 2 miles. I did great on my diet again that day (the exact same as the day before) and when I weighed in on Sunday I had lost .6 lbs. It was definitely a relief but I was still thinking, I'm eating better this weekend and walking more and I'm losing half of what I have been? Don't get me wrong I was still stoked that I lost at all but it was weird. A couple of hours later I got my answer...lovely mother nature brought me my monthly gift :( BOO!!!! But hey at least I found out why my body was acting so weird right?

Okay men you can start reading this now :) So over the weekend I was really proud of myself with how I ate. Even though I could have, I didn't eat any popcorn at the movie theater! I brought a bag of a sliced up small apple and 5 large olives and I ate that instead. And honestly, if any of you are huge movie popcorn fans, the worse part is walking into the theater! That scent hits you and you're like maaaannnn! But once my husband and I got to the candy counter the smell wasn't bothering me anymore, I just bought a water and was good to go. Even though Cory had popcorn it didn't even occur to me that I wasn't eating it when we were in the theater! I was so proud of myself after! Also we went out for lunch yesterday to Mimi's Cafe and I had a great lunch. I had a montery chicken sandwich without the bacon or bun. It was PERFECT! Chicken, lettuce, tomato, a couple of slices of avocado for fat. And instead of french fries I got a naked french onion soup! All it is is the onions and broth! It was perfect and I was so full I didn't even finish my lunch. I was still wanting something for my dessert/treat for the week but I couldn't decide on what I wanted. Ice Cream? French Fries (this was before we ordered at Mimis)? what?? Well when we left we saw a frozen yogurt shop! yum! So we went to Ikea to walk around for about 30 minutes and then went to the frozen yogurt place. It was the perfect dessert for my week. If any of you have never had frozen yogurt I strongly suggest it instead of eating ice cream! Although it's not healthy for you it is MUCH better for you than ice cream. And at the shops you can get the plain tart flavor and add fruit on top, it's incredibly good. Try it!

So today is 1 week since I started the Thyroid Diet and I'm LOVING it! I really hope this blog can encourage more of you with thyroid problems to try this diet at least for a month! When I started I weighed 322 lbs. Today I weigh 314.4 lbs, so I've lost 7.6 lbs. total! I need to lose 51.4 more pounds until I am done with phase 1 of my diet! (I will talk about the phases of my diet in my next post...this one is long enough already!) :) I'm really excited, and thank all of you for the encouragement! Until next time!

3.

Hello everyone! I figured I should just make a new post instead of just making the comments list longer and longer with my replies, and I have great news for you! ;-) First of all let me say thank you to everyone who is following this blog, and even if you aren't "following" thank you so much for reading it! Thank you for the encouragement you guys are great! Thanks for your thoughts and a lot of those I will answer in this post. I have been commenting back but here's just a little more about me to maybe answer some more of your questions.

A lot of you are talking about possibly taking natural thyroid medications and although I haven't asked recently the last time I talked to my specialist, and the specialist before her both said I couldn't take those. I'm not exactly sure why but I do know that my first specialist said it was crucial that I didn't go into a health food store and 1. eat soy products and 2. take any natural supplements. At first I thought he meant that no one with low thyroid could do that, but after reading a lot of your comments I guess he was talking to me specifically. I'm going to have to ask my specialist again when I see her in a few weeks. Also I have done tons and tons (and boy do I mean tons) of other tests to see if there is anything wrong. Some of them I've even done more than once. We sometimes test it separately and other times just do it when I'm getting my TSH, T3 and T4 tested. Also I get those three tests done every 6-8 weeks almost always my T3 and T4 are right at the normal level or a tiny bit high or low. But my TSH is what is always crazy. Some other people have mentioned possibly taking Cytomel with my Levoxyl, and I was for almost a year and a half. She finally said it's not doing anything for you unless it's making you worse so she took me off of that.

Also a lot of you (the people who found me from Mary's site) have weight problems or have had weight problems like myself. I feel for you guys, it's hard and although you try not to care what other people think you do. My husband, he's so amazing, and he always says, "Why does it matter? I think you're beautiful and that's all that should matter." And of course he is the most important person in my life so it really matters what he thinks. But he also doesn't have people giving him disgusted looks all the time and he doesn't have people making fun of them to his face when you're not even causing yourself to be this overweight. (I used to work at Starbucks and on more than one occasion I would have someone make fun of my weight as I was handing their drink to them. I wanted to take the lid off and throw it in their face. But instead I would smile at them and let my ranting about how much I wanted to punch them stay in my head) You guys are strong, so much stronger than an average person that is overweight. They cause that but you don't, and you deal with health issues and are going on with your lives as normal as possible. A lot of people were shocked to find out that I had health problems they always say they never would have guessed that I was going through anything. Just remember how strong you are. And know that you aren't in this alone and you CAN get through this.

As for me...I'm feeling great today, yesterday wasn't the best day for me but surprisingly I only ate 1100 calories and I was actually not as hungry as the days before! Also I said I walk a couple times a day and if the dogs didn't stop walking to sniff around or whatever I would count my time as longer, but I'm usually walking 15 minutes each time. I usually do that 2x a day but yesterday I added in another one! This morning I went around our apartment complex twice in a row and I felt so much better than I did just walking around it once yesterday! Also for my very exciting news: Today is Day 4 of the Thyroid Diet and when I weighed in this morning I weighed 316 lbs!!!! So I've lost 6 lbs in 3 days! I'm incredibly excited! Until next time!

2.

So today is day 2 of the Thyroid Diet and so far everything is going really well! On the first post I said I weighed 323 lbs. Well the day I started (the following day/yesterday) I weighed in at 322 (not uncommon or exciting...I go in between 322&324 all the time) BUT I am excited to say that this morning when I weighed in I was at 319.4! So I lost 2.6 lbs yesterday alone. :) (and with this diet you're supposed to lose about 1 pound a week)

Now I know many diets say only weigh yourself once a week, (and one my Dad does wont let you weigh for the first 12 weeks!) but on this diet you're actually supposed to weigh yourself everyday. That way if I were to gain a pound or more one day, I can look back and see what I ate, if I worked out, how much water I drank blah blah blah and I can decide what probably made me gain the weight and not do it the next day.

Although the author says you don't have to count the calories on this diet, I did anyway. I'm eating around 1267 calories a day, drinking around 10 glasses of water and I have to have certain amounts of starches, fruits, veggies, protein and good fats. For the majority of the day every time I was about to eat a meal or snack was right when I would start getting hungry again so it was perfect. I was pretty hungry still after dinner but I decided not to eat and I'm glad I didn't. I'm also walking anywhere between 30-40 minutes a day.

I really like the food I'm eating and it's a great diet because I can still eat if I go out. So...so far so good! I don't feel much better (thyroid wise) but I feel great with what I'm doing! Thank you all for the encouragement! You guys are great! Until next time!

1.

This blog is not meant to make people sad, have them feel sorry for me and it is not for attention. It is simply to let people understand what I am going through, and what has been happening throughout the last 10 years of my life. Also, I am reading a couple new books by Mary J. Shomon and through these books I am going to attempt (once again) to lose the weight that this disease has caused me. So this blog will also be my weekly (possibly daily) journey with this last resort diet; the "Thyroid Diet". The first picture is me with a friend...I'm the one on the right. This is what I look like now. The other picture is of me and my sister when I weighed 140lbs. I am the one on the left.

When I was in 7th grade I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease, a.k.a. hyperthyroidism. That is when your thyroid (butterfly shaped gland that wraps around your trachea) is over active. Your thyroid controls almost everything that happens inside your body, like:
Heart Rate
Metabolism
Moods
Immune System
Menstrual Cycles
Sex drive
Brain Activity
Ability to get pregnant
Body Temp
Cholesterol
etc. etc. etc. (I think you get the point)
I'm not certain, since I have never done speed, but I'm guessing that's what your body feels like at all times; like you're on speed (sitting down relaxing my heart rate was going 150 bpm...yea...) So I was taking medication and during my Freshman year of High School I went into remission from the disease and all seemed great for a while. During my Sophomore year however I started feeling not so great again. We called the Doctor he said I was fine... so we just went along with it. At the end of the year we went back to the Doctor and I had relapsed. It was the worst I have ever been and we were told if we didn't do something soon I would slip into a vegetable like state and eventually die from that. We had my thyroid removed with radio active iodine and were told that with thyroid replacement medication I would be fine. Ha...Ha...Ha.... ;-)

Up until that point I had always been rather thin, I was 5'8'' and weighed in around 140-145 lbs. I was very athletic, was on soccer teams, club swimming and recreational swimming teams, volleyball, basketball...basically I was always busy with sports. It wasn't long after I had my thyroid removed that I started gaining weight. I got up to somewhere between 180 and 190 lbs by the end of my Senior year of High School. At the time we thought it might have something to do with my thyroid problems but we really just blamed it on me eating a little more but mainly blamed it on the fact that I couldn't work out anymore. (I have hyper-elasticity in my joints...and because of that I blew all the ligaments out of my right shoulder, some in my left shoulder; and it was starting in my knees.) I was on thyroid replacement hormone but they couldn't find the right dose, I wasn't able to get to a "normal" level. It was very frustrating, but besides being a little overweight it wasn't interfering with my life so I didn't really care.

In the fall of 2006 I left home to go to Biola University La Mirada, CA. College was great but man...that Freshman 15...turned into a Freshman 40. I was gaining weight like crazy and I couldn't stop. In December of that year we did some more testing and found out I went to the complete opposite side of the thyroid problem; I was now Hypothyroid, Hashimoto's Disease. I didn't just go to the under active side of things...I was WAY under active, which explained the weight gain. After we found this out my mom took me to a specialist in Beverly Hills to try to fix what was going on. Because he is pretty well known I won't mention his name...but he was the worst Doctor I have seen since this started. He accused me of not taking my medication, he said I was probably scarfing down soy products. (soy is incredibly bad for people with thyroid problems) I wasn't doing any of these things, this guy just thought he was so awesome, that me getting worse HAD to be my fault, not his. Needless to say I continued to get worse and worse over the next year and a half. I started doing horrible with my school work, mainly tests, because everything was so slowed down I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't remember things I had studied and one day I even forgot my name. It was terrifying I cried for hours. Soon enough all I wanted to do was sleep, and I was getting sick a lot. I didn't feel happy all the time like I usually did and just walking exhausted me. I didn't gain a lot more weight but when I finished my Sophomore year of College I weighed in at 250 lbs. ugh...

After that year I moved to Texas with my soon to be husband Cory. I found another Doctor here, her name is Dr. Espinoza and she has been great so far...but I haven't been helped. I have continued to get worse and I have gained more and more weight. I moved to Texas in May of 2008 and by August 2008 I weighed 280 lbs for our wedding. I was disgusted with myself when I got our wedding pictures back I cried forever. Our wedding was beautiful and so much fun and the pictures were amazing...but who was this disgustingly overweight girl in the wedding dress?! That isn't what I look like, that's not what I feel like how can that possibly be me? But it was...and unfortunately that wasn't my top weight. We've had some scares in the last year and a half, they thought I had tumors...I've miscarried and the Doc said I would never be able to have children...and recently they said there was no more they could do for me. They would just keep trying to give me higher doses but that's all that could be done. A normal person with hypothyroidism takes their meds with a dose around 100mcg. I take 275mcg...and yet I'm still worse. But I'm not giving up hope, I refuse to believe that I will never carry a baby the full 9 months and have a normal baby, and although my Doctor has asked me over and over again to stop trying to diet and to just let the disease do what it will...I refuse to continue to be this overweight. Actually I'm not even overweight, I'm morbidly obese.

That's where this new book by Mary J. Shoman comes in and the majority of the reason for this blog. I've tried tons of diets, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Insulin Resistant diets, cutting calories...you name it. On Average I eat 1500-1600 calories. Way less than most people eat in a day. I walk for 40-60 minutes every day...and when I'm able to I work out on the elliptical machine. Most days it's too hard though, I'm still so tired and exhausted and really all I want to do is never leave my bed. I don't though, I work, I spend time with my husband and puppy and friends. I don't want people to think I'm a depressed person who doesn't do anything with my life so I don't live that way. And I no longer want strangers to look at me and think I'm a couch potato that just sits there stuffing my face. It is almost impossible for someone with hypothyroidism to lose weight, the majority of us gain a lot of weight while we're trying to diet. So I'm going to try this one last diet and I will keep a blog on my journey during it. If you guys have any questions about anything please post it on my blogs I'll answer it. And now for the most embarrassing thing about all of this that most people do not know because they haven't seen me since I moved away....
My name is Molly, I'm 21 years old, I have had thyroid diseases for 10 years of my life and I have gained 183 lbs because of it. I am currently 323 lbs and I will, somehow, lose this weight. Until next time!