Tuesday, June 28, 2011

116.

Hello dolls, I'm back...I'm hoping for good! So as you all know I've been having a hard time lately, I just have not been able to get past my third miscarriage that happened in February. I can control bursting into tears, but I'm not any farther than I was when it happened. So as for everything else, T-Tapp, and the Thyroid diet I have not been doing it. And that has to do with healing from the miscarriage. I just haven't gotten that thing in my head that says, "Yep! I'm ready to start again!" Until now...but I'm taking it slow, and I'll get to that in a minute. SO I need to tell you guys everything, so you know all of what has happened since I went M.I.A. Okay to back track a little, I had lost 47 pounds by July and found out I was pregnant again, had my second miscarriage and gained 25 pounds back (if you couldn't tell yet, I'm a SUPER emotional eater) So I was at 300 lbs until December when I dropped 10 again and went to California to see my family for Christmas. We were there when the hubby and I found I was pregnant for the third time! During the 5.5 weeks I knew I was preggo I gained 10 pounds so I was back at 300. (I had been eating 1200 calories a day, and for an almost 300 pound person that's not enough especially when you're pregnant. So I went up to somewhere between 1800-2000) Naturally I gained weight. Then in February I had my third miscarriage and of course ate everything in sight. In the last almost 5 months I've gained 39 pounds putting me at 339, the heaviest I've ever been. (May of 2009 was my previous heaviest at 330).

So there it is for you. Not proud of it, actually it makes me disgusted, which makes me want to eat more. Pft. Ridiculous cycle. Finally this weekend it clicked for me. FINALLY! But I want to take it slow. So I'm not fully on the Thyroid diet yet but I am easing myself into it. Hubby and I have already stopped eating out so much and I'm eating a lot less. (Well the eating different started a little over a week ago, but I'm finally ready to take it further) And also I started my own personal 60 day boot camp yesterday and just finished my second work out. They have been killer but I'm excited to be doing it again! I also took my measurements and pictures yesterday so I'm tracking EVERYTHING this time. And let me tell you the weight, measurements and pictures are just BAD!! I'm ready for them to go away!

So that's all for now. Lot of info I know, but as always I need you guys to know it all. I won't be blogging every day. But at least once a week for sure. I've missed you all!